Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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