part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
