Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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