OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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