awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
