I think I won the penis lottery.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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