I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
