You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
