Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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