Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
