dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
