It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
