just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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