if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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