genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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