you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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