We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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