She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize