Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
