What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
