I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
