I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
