you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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