can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
