You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can't turn off my feet"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
