and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
