..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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