just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How's work?
Spinning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think my moral compass just broke
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