I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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