therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
