the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
