I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
