Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize