I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
