Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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