Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
