Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
