New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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