i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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