She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
