Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Who put my cat in the fridge?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
