Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
