Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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