just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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