i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Im part way to drunk.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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