if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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