She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
