you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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