Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Pappa wants mamma naked
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
