I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You need Xanax blowdarts
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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