I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
