her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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