my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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