So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize