Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize