i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
