Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
