he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
