Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
