i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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