i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
