this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
