You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
