Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
