I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
