He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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