You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
