Kiss
Puke
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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