I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
