So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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