is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
