all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize