so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
