what day is it and did you see me today?
and she was petting her beer can
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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